Is it really worth it?

So... I was supposed to hang with a good friend this afternoon and we made some plans. So when I called her to finalize the plans, she was at the mall with her "boyfriend" and rescheduled the plans she had with me to be with him. Now, I love this girl so much... shes a really really good friend, but I seriously felt like I was being replaced by a boyfriend. That sucks. Now, I want a boyfriend, but I don't want to forsake my friends to hang with him. I don't know, it just kinda bothered me that girls do that. I've been the brunt of that so many times and it hurts like crazy!!! I mean, when that relationship stops working, they turn to their friends, but if you push me to the back of your mind and screw me over, I won't be there. You can't forsake your friends for a relationship... a relationship needs to be built on friendship. I just hope that when I finally get in a relationship, we will have been friends first and will have a group of friends that we mutually know so that I can hang with him and with my friends... ugh...

Anywho, its been a restful weekend for me. I've been house/dogsitting for some good friends, so I've been basically alone all weekend. I like it. I cleaned the kitchen today and it felt like I owned the house. I'm now sitting on the couch, watching Star Wars and waiting for the dishes to be down washing. Ahh... its nice and peaceful. Not having to worry about anything, not having to hear my mom nagging me about my room (which isn't so bad right now) or fighting with my sister (who is still finding ways to bother me and I'm not even near her!!). Haha... well, I'm out, just wanted to post something!!!

Love always, Peace forever:

<3 LissieAnn <3

Small Things Will Define My Life

I lead a senior high bible study at my church, and we are going through a book called Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations by Alex and Brett Harris. Its a great book... one that totally makes you think about what you are supposed to be doing... and it speaks to me. Today I was trying to finish the book up when I read something that hit me...

"We all want to do big and important things, but we tend to discount the equally important small things that get us there."

I know that I'm meant for something bigger... that my ambitions to be a singer, a mom, a wife, isn't just background noise. God has all that and more planned for me but in the long run, I need to be more worried about the "small" things: like cleaning my room, reading my Bible, keeping myself healthy, sharing the gospel... and last but not least, being a star to the darkness. I have a hard time realizing that cleaning my room is important to my future. But it is... My mom tells me to clean my room, I begrudingly do but not well, and then my mom gets mad at me and we have a screaming match, so in the end, my relationship with my mother is spoiled by a seemingless "small" task. Its fruesterating because I'm 21 and still living at home. I want so badly to be on my own, live my own life. I work with kids my age and younger who are getting drunk, having sex, getting high, and thats expected for these kids... Let me tell you a story...

It was probably a month ago when this happened. I was having one of those days where I couldn't understand why I was different from the rest and my life wasn't being blessed, so I hung out with one of my friends. She and I drove around for a while and when we finally stopped, we proceeded to get high... wow... it was HORRIBLE!!! It tasted so nasty! I was tripping so bad, my whole body was shaking and twitching and I was so paranoid, it was just bad. I will NEVER NEVER ever do that again. The worse thing was that my friends from work found out and told me that they where disappointed in me. UGH!!! Disappointment! Epic fail on my part.

Galations 6:7 "Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap"
Every action we do... even if we think its small and insignificant is shaping our future. Remember when I told you I was 21? Well, here's a shocker... I've never drank before... Not because I have a problem with alcohol, but because I don't really have a lot of friends who go out of who are old enough to go out. But here's the kicker... my friends that I've been hanging out with lately want to get together and drink. Some of them aren't 21 and I've been really convicted about that. I don't think that drinking is wrong, just getting drunk like the Bible says, but I do have a problem with underage drinking. I mean, if the law tells you that you can't drink until 21... we should follow that!!! But thats what makes me different... I guess... But here's my dilema... Should I buy the alcohol? Everything within me says "No" but I don't want to lose them as friends... ugh... but its decisions like this that shape my future... stupid, meaningless decisions that barely affect me. Its Hard!!!

I hope that my ramblings aren't boring you... just thoughts...

I'll see you on the flip side,

<3 LissieAnn <3

Hello World

So, I can't begin to tell you about all the blogs I've started... haha... But I need a place to write about what I'm going through and it will hopefully help other people who might be going through the same things as me. I have to warn you, my life hasn't always been easy and my walk with God hasn't always been the best, but God works through the hardest times and the TOUGHEST situations... I'm vowing, not only to you, but to myself and God, that I will try to Shine in a World of Darkness...

"So that you may become blameless and pure, Children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you Shine Like Stars In The Universe."
Phillipians 2:15

May God be with you and Peace follow you...

<3,
LissieAnn